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By Sara Rose

There are many different types of toxic patterns or cycles that we can get ourselves stuck in, and the worst part is that most people have no idea they have even gotten themselves caught in a recurring pattern. The subconscious mind controls the parts of us that we don’t necessarily need to be completely aware for thinking. Have you ever been driving, then you suddenly arrived at your destination without remembering the entire path you took to get there? That’s because driving has become so familiar to some of us that we don’t always need to be 100% aware of every turn and move we make. It is something that over time, comes completely natural to us. Like breathing, or using the washroom, or sleeping. These activities take little to no thought, but yet we are able to carry out our day not even realizing we are doing many activities. This is because our subconscious mind begins to record what we are doing, and if something is repetitive, then the subconscious mind can simply go back to the recording and know exactly what to do because you’ve already done the task many times and you don’t need much thought about it. This concept works the same way whether this is a negative repeating pattern, or positive, and these patterns can go back as far as childhood, or even further. Toxic patterns can also be referred to as karmic cycles, and they can follow us from past lives as well. While studying past life regression, I had come across an interesting story from a hypnotherapist. The Dr took his client to other lives she had lived out here on earth, and what he found was that the client had the same toxic pattern in many of her other experiences when it came to her choice in violent men she dated. The Dr believed she (the client) was putting herself into the same recurring toxic cycle because she wasn’t getting, or paying attention to the life lesson that she was meant to learn, there for she would continue to relive the same patterns until she learned from it. The hypnotherapy session was all and all extremely rewarding because the client was able to understand the toxic patterns she was caught up in, and then begin to heal what had triggered the pattern in the first place.

Toxic patterns are not always from lifetimes away, and you don’t need to be hypnotized to bring them into the light where we can clearly see them. This is just one example of being unaware of a pattern and where it came from. Toxic patterns can be embedded into our subconscious mind as children as well. For example, if a child grows up in a home where the parents are mostly absent, then as an adult, the child might become co-dependent to other people later in life. Or, if a child grows up in a home where the family suffered from extreme lack of finances, then as an adult, the person might over work themselves, and even indulge in gambling activities to make more money. Without balance, humans will constantly try to fill something that they feel could be missing from their lives. Other forms of toxic patterns and behaviors can be self sabotage, playing the victim, fear of long-term romantic relationships, overindulging, and loss of self worth. An example of self sabotage would be subconsciously ruining relationships, whether that be romantic or platonic, and this could be for many reasons. A common reason for this behavior would be a great lack in trust. Trust in yourself and judgment, and most of all, trust for others. This is usually brought on by a deep fear of losing the person, or because of past traumas. Perhaps people in your past have done you wrong or had proved to not be the greatest of friends. No matter what type of relationship it is, there must always be an equal exchange of energy. However, some might sabotage the relationship before giving the other person a chance. This toxic pattern can go in the opposite direction as well, in the sense that we can allow the other person to keep taking our energy without receiving any back. This is usually a fear of losing someone in our life, so we will allow them to walk all over us, causing our self worth to diminish more and more. The fear of losing another person can also stem from abandonment issues, and co-dependency. What we call “playing the victim” is a toxic pattern that can develop from childhood or emerge from traumas. This is when a person can no longer accept the consequences of their own decisions and actions, so they begin to blame others for the situations they have gotten themselves into. A great example would be the pure pressure in which every teenager usually must endure at some point of their youth. Maybe they tried shoplifting because their peers convinced them it was “cool” So, when the police asked, “why did you do this?” They might answer, “It’s not my fault, they told me to do it.” But who’s fault is it in this situation? The young teen made a choice and couldn’t see that they had free will in the situation, placing the blame elsewhere. This mentality can continue on through life if not corrected early, because the subconscious will create the pattern, thinking this is the easy way out whenever there is trouble. Later, as an adult, the same person might continue to use this for everything they might label negative. Lost a job, it’s the companies fault. Can’t keep a romantic partner, it’s their fault, and so on. This toxic pattern can cause people to be blind folded from their own shadow, and then it would become more difficult to correct if they can’t see. Overindulging are usually toxic habits, such as: smoking, drinking, gambling, drugs, overeating, overbuying, money, and sex.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you can’t do these things because they’re toxic. I used the word overindulging for a reason. Once these become a pattern, that’s what makes them toxic. Pattern becomes an addiction, and addiction is toxic because at that point, we’re using something to fill some kind of void we might believe is missing. None of these things can make you happy or make you feel fulfilled in anyway. Maybe they do in the moment, but it’s not real fulfillment, it’s only an illusion created by the subconscious, fed by the ego. These types of toxic patterns are the most common and can be triggered by so many different reasons. Mostly because you think you need it, just the same as I believed that I needed cigarettes for 36 years of my life. I knew they were bad for my body; I knew what they were doing to my lungs, but I had convinced myself that I needed to smoke. As of today, I’m smoke free, and I was able to give it up after being hypnotized and told that I was a nonsmoker. My subconscious was redirected, and convinced that I didn’t smoke, and in fact, hated smoking and the smell of cigarettes. Well, it worked because I cannot stand smokers, or the smell of cigarettes, and I haven’t felt the need to smoke ever since. So, how do we break toxic patterns? First, we need to be aware of them. You need to accept that there is an issue in the subconscious, remembering that you are human, and we all have issues to work through and heal from. Once we are aware of a toxic pattern, it’s no longer a pattern, it then becomes a choice. Because, if you’re aware of it, then you are choosing to continue to contribute to the pattern consciously. Knowing our toxic patterns is the first step, and is an amazing self discovery. Most people can’t see it, so if you can get that far, then you’re one step further to growing as an individual. Next step after becoming aware of the issue, is correcting it from the subconscious. Your thoughts need to be redirected, and there are many different tactics we can try to find out what works best for you personally.

Hypnosis is one method, but may not be suitable for everyone. Spiritual coaching can help get to the root of the issue and then the correction process can begin. Meditation can bring toxic patterns and behaviors to the light and help us become more aware of what we need to work on personally. Subliminal messages are great for redirecting the thought patterns that keep us in a continuous loop, and positive affirmations are a proven tool to begin changing thoughts and the mentality you could be stuck in. All of these are great tools to help bring on the healing process, however, you need consistency and patience as well. The mental and subconscious parts of our brains cannot be cured from toxic patterns and behaviors in a day. This will take time and practice, and most of all, a strong will for positive change in your life. Continuing to be a victim and suffering from toxic patterns can eventually lead to mental disorders such as: depression, social anxiety, lack of self worth, and victimization. Many of us suffer from these toxic habits and patterns, and many of us are unsure how to break the vicious cycle. If you, or anyone you know is suffering from any or all of the above, it is always best to direct them to a professional who can properly help. There is no shame in reaching out for help, we’re all in this together, and we’re losing our fellow man from mental issues every day. Depression is the number one mental issue in the US, and Canada right now, and we can only see these numbers climb with all the major problems our society has been facing in the last five or six years. If you’re able to help someone in any way, always take the opportunity to do so.

I hope this article could be of some help, or was at least an enjoyable read.

If anyone would like more information on hypnosis, spiritual coaching, or a safe number to reach out to, I’ve left some contact numbers here for you.

Until next time, stay safe, stay true, and don’t forget to smile 😊 

Professional hypnosis:

Spiritual coaching

Mental health crisis line: 1-866-277-3553 


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