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By Sara Rose

It was extremely alarming to me when I had asked a few different close friends how often they take time for themselves, and the answers I got were not what I had expected at all. So, of course, since I have a passion for psychology and human behavior, I did a little research. The average person will take a couple hours for themselves in the span of 30 days, this is less for women. That’s only once a month that people are unplugging from the stressful realities around them, and doing something they love, rather than working, or caring for others around them. And, the time they’re taking is very minimal. I honestly could not believe this! It's no wonder why so many people are feeling drained, stressed, and have many different imbalances. When we allow our reality to overwhelm us with negative emotions such as: self-doubt, self-hate, or a general lack in self-worth due to the stresses of everyday life, these heavy emotions will begin to weigh us down and begin to cause inner issues like depression, anxiety, and a fear of social engagement. Most people will also let these lower vibrational emotions bottle up inside, instead of finding some kind of release. Some people might believe that they’re releasing stress by finding time for themselves once a month or even less, but in reality, this is not remotely true. The negative energy, stress of everyday life, our jobs, our responsibilities, and everything in between needs to be released on a daily basis. If not, then these negative energies and low vibrational emotions can quickly begin to hurt your physical body, and your soul. The physical body is not only fueled by what we eat and the amount of sleep we get. It is fueled by the energy that we feed it is well. This is why it can be important to keep the chakras balanced. If one or more energy centers are thrown off balance, then we can begin to feel this through emotions, or certain health issues that arise. For instance, if you’re constantly around other people who vibrate on a very low level, such as: angry people, violent people, people who are always complaining, people who are always miserable, people who are in a victim mentality, then you too can pick up this lower energy and carry it with you. This is why monthly self-care is just not enough.

The energy around you on a daily, and the energy you willingly feed yourself is going to be a great reflection on how you appear to yourself, and others. If you go to work, and at the end of the day you’re so mentally and emotionally drained that you don’t want to speak to others, than the energy you’re picking up is not good for your personal vibration. This goes the same when interacting with friends, family, or even random people you come into contact with throughout the day. For example, if you have spent a day with friends because you needed “me time” but when the encounter is finished and you feel emotionally overwhelmed, then you’re putting more heavy energy on yourself. This scenario can happen when we surround ourselves with friends who might not be in our highest good. Friends are of course people who we get along with great, but what does that mean? So you may have some things in common, and you enjoy talking to each other, but have you ever paused for a moment while with a friend and absorbed the energy that was flowing between the two of you? My point is, sometimes we are friends with people who are low vibrational, and we don’t even realize it. If you feel exhausted after a day with a friend, then they might have taken your energy, rather than boosting it up. If a friend is constantly complaining or gossiping, then this can add to the heavy energy that you have already picked up from other places such as work during the week, and it is not helping you cleanse any of the negative energy away. This works the same way with family members, romantic partners, and even strangers. With family, it is difficult to take space from them, especially if you live in the same household. In this case, you would need to be very open and direct about boundaries and time alone. Same with romantic partners. Your partner needs to understand that space and time is needed, even if this means a 20 minute bath, or privacy to write down your feelings from the day. This is an understanding that works both ways, even if the other person says they are find and don’t need time. When it comes to strangers, we don’t need to know someone to pick up their energy just by walking by them let’s say in a grocery store. Our aura’s of energy, our higher selves, and our nervous system can pick up on more energy than the aware mind. Simply walking past someone who is in a miserable mood can alter the state of mind we were in before the passing, and we don’t even know it. Let’s say you have a lower vibrational interaction with someone in said store, or even the cashier. This will affect us more than some people can imagine. You might say something like: “well, that person is in a terrible mood” The fact that you allowed your subconscious to label the interaction as “terrible” can have a great impact on the rest of your day. The subconscious mind is not aware that other people even exist, so when you say things to yourself, or about other people in a negative sense, then the subconscious mind believes you are speaking about yourself. Meaning, the moment you decided to label the experience as negative, and acknowledge that another person is miserable, then you’re feeding that negative energy to yourself. And, this negative energy can hold onto you and your ego thinking mind for the rest of the day. Now, if you’re in the same situation, and instead of labeling the experience as a negative one, and maybe said this instead: “I hope you have a beautiful day” with a big smile directed at the other person, this shifts the energy, especially towards yourself. This concept is the same when we gossip about others in a negative way. The subconscious mind will think you’re talking about you. So not only is gossiping not nice when it concerns the person you’re gossiping about, but it’s not good for your own self-reflection. How we think of ourselves is how others will perceive us. All of this even works when it comes to things that might just happen to you throughout the day and around the house.

For example, I will use myself and personal growth as I always do. Years ago, if something was going wrong throughout my day, such as I drop an entire pot of spaghetti sauce on the kitchen floor, I would have gotten extremely upset, said ever swear word known to man, and walked out of the room completely emotional with anger. Now, because I have the right tools to control my mindset, the situation would play out much differently. Same scenario, and I would definitely feel those low vibrational emotions coming up to the surface, but now, I would choose to pause, understand the emotions I’m feeling, and remind myself that shit happens, and it’s okay. Another example of myself would be the same scenario in the grocery store. If I had come into contact with someone radiating negative energy, I would automatically emit this energy right back at them in the form of a negative comment directly at the person, causing unnecessary conflict, or after the fact to myself or the person I was with, shifting their energy in a negative way as well. It’s a circle of negativity. Now, I’ve learned that keeping a positive mindset in any situation is best for myself, and the other people around me. This shift in mindset takes practice but can be done by anyone, and I’ll explain how I did it!

Daily self-care.

This makes all the difference in the world. When I say daily self-care, you might begin picturing long bubble baths, drinks with friends, time to read a book that you’ve wanted to start, a vacation, a day at the beach, or something too farfetched that you can’t fit into your schedule right now. If so, then you thought wrong. Daily self-care doesn’t have to be time consuming, expensive trips to a spa, or putting off the people we love so that we have the time for ourselves. Daily self-care can be so simple, and only take about 10 minutes of your time. Of course, it can be longer if you choose, but one of the biggest excuses I hear is not having enough time during the day. I’m going to share with you a simple trick, and it only takes a few moments when you first wake in the morning. If you need to set your alarm 10 minutes earlier, then do so. When you wake up in the morning, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, or get a drink, whatever it is you do when you first wake. But, instead of going on social media, or even looking at your phone, go back to bed and lay there. Count down from 100 to 1 slowly with your eyes closed. (The counting keeps the ego mind distracted) This short time from when we’re asleep to waking point, is when our subconscious mind is most open and vulnerable but is also when the physical body is in a state of healing. Problem is, most people get up, and immediately go straight to their phones or computers, where the subconscious mind can begin absorbing negative content. This will put the mind, body, and soul into a state of “fight” meaning, the bodies aura will start having trouble repelling negative energy and we begin to break down. This is why sometimes at midday we can feel so exhausted but not understand why, since we had had a good nights sleep. Changing this small amount of energy in the morning can alter your entire day and give you the energy you need. Another way to cleanse the energy from the day is to start a journal. This only requires a few moments of your time but has been proven to help with many negative mindsets like depression and anxiety. Writing down how you feel and the emotions you had to go through during the day can help you better understand yourself, and why you feel how you do. Once you know why, you can move on to how to shift this.

Another way to express how you feel and release emotions is painting or drawing. Even if you’re no Picasso like me, you can even print off something to colour. Sounds silly? There is a reason small children sit and colour and enjoy doing so. This activity can clear the over-thinking mind and put restless thoughts to ease. When the mind is focused on what we perceive to be satisfying or give us a sense of accomplishment, our vibration will begin to rise, and we can view situations from the day in a different perspective. The same concept works when it comes to other forms of art such as: knitting, crocheting, beading, sketching, puzzles, or even making something like candles, soaps, jewelry, and food. So cooking and baking as well. Whatever gives you that sense of pride or accomplishment, is what can help you shift your mindset. For me personally, it’s cleaning. I take a massive sense of pride when my home is well cleaned and I can sit back and look at what I’ve done. That is until my kids get home from school 😉

Reading can also put the ego thinking mind into this state, because you’re mostly engaged in the story or characters more then your own reality. Now, this doesn’t need to take up all your free time. I know a lot of people who start a book and are determined to blow through it in a couple days. Slow down, take your time and try reading just one chapter a night before bed. This way you didn’t take too much time, but you still took a moment for yourself to clear out the negative energy by focusing your mind on something that wasn’t the cause of your stress. The more you can focus your mind on something you love doing, and stay away from social media and the TV, especially the news, the more your mindset will begin to slightly shift towards positive energies of yourself. Learning to love yourself, and to love your own company is self-care in a whole. These are some simple ways to show yourself some love and care, but there are also the more obvious ways as well. Taking a relaxing bubble bath, go for a walk by yourself, go for a drive in the country, go out for dinner to your favorite place (yes, by yourself) Spend time with those who raise your energy and don’t make you feel drained at the end of the visit. MEDITATION. I said it, and I’ll keep saying it! There is no better way to clear your mind, cleanse your system, connect with yourself, and heal yourself, than meditation. Recently, I was meditating first thing in the morning, only for about 10 minutes, and that was how I was given the idea of my next workshop “The Power of Forgiveness” which I will go into great detail during this class. Point is meditation is a great release tool. Now that I’ve explained how easy we can pick up negative energy, I hope everyone can get a better sense of how important it is to practice self-care every day, as opposed to once a month or even less. Small self-care should be done daily, and something bigger can be done on the once a month, like go to a spa, get a reiki healing, or whatever it is that helps you personally cleanse from the everyday stresses. My advice is to at least try something for at least 10 minutes of every day, then see how you begin to feel within a week or so. These small gestures can make a huge difference on how you view the reality around you, and how you view yourself.

I hope this newsletter could be of some help or was at least an enjoyable read. Until next time, stay safe, stay true, and don’t forget to smile.

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